Humble and Kind - July 31, 2016

There's a Tim McGraw song out right now that pretty much sums up how I was brought up and how we try to raise our children.

"Go to church 'cause your momma says to

Visit grandpa every chance that you can

It won't be wasted time

Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you

Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie

I know you got mountains to climb but

Always stay humble and kind

When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you

When the work you put in is realized

Let yourself feel the pride but

Always stay humble and kind"

Those are just some of the lyrics.  

In case you don't know this about me, I lost my dad to cancer when I was just 19, and he was just 53.  But in those 19 years that I had him in my life, he instilled a lot of values.  

I remember my sister's friend coming over and she left her car unlocked, windows down, and purse in the car.  She came inside just for a moment.  It was long enough however for the neighbor boys to steal her purse.  My dad was home working on building our basement.  He heard what happened and proceeded to walk to the neighbor boys house and retrieve the purse.  Then he offered the boys a job so they could earn money instead of feeling like they had to steal.  That was my dad.  That's how we were raised.

I try to be kind to all I meet.  The ladies at the Wal-Mart deli counter always seem over worked and under paid.  I made it my mission every week to brighten their day.  So it turns out one of the ladies is a regular at Golds.  She goes to the water aerobic class and she was there last Monday when I was pretty upset that I hadn't lost any weight.  

I think she could sense that I wasn't all right and she began to tell me how she's been coming for a year but hasn't seen any weight change, but she does feel much better.  She told me how much I inspired her and how she was going to come more often and try harder.  This may sound silly, but I never really thought anyone was taking notice of me.  

That Monday was a difficult day yet again the next day an older gentleman who comes most every day stopped me and asked me if I was okay because I didn't seem happy the past two days.  We talked for awhile and he was very encouraging.  

It made me realize that people are watching and I want to be a better example.  I just tend to wear my emotions on my face so I want to be better at manifesting the good.  And I always want to be humble and kind.

Blood Tests Don't Lie

The following is a letter I wrote to the manager of our local Gold's gym on July 18, 2016.

Today marks 6 months since I began the 12 week challenge.  I have lost 48.5 pounds in total so far.  I injured my knee during the challenge and I had to slow down my activity in the gym since then – but I never stopped; I just did less.

I wanted to let you know of something I believe is far greater than the number of pounds lost on a scale.  I’m not sure how many people know this about me, but about 4 ½ years ago I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Literally one week before the challenge began I was given a blood test called the Vectra DA to measure the level of activity of the disease (the rheumatoid arthritis).

The results came back with a 39 – which if you look at the chart below you will see that is in the moderate range teetering towards high.  I was crushed with this result because I hadn’t had any “symptoms” of the arthritis for a few years and I thought I would be in the low range.

Fast forward to today – I repeated this blood test just last week (6 months and negative 48 pounds later).  My result was a 16.  I hung up the phone after receiving the results and jumped out of my chair and screamed with excitement.  Good thing everyone was upstairs and I didn’t scare anyone.

  

  

I have been a fan of Gold’s Gym Clifton since before these doors opened and we were in the office space nearby.  But I cannot say enough about Ryan and Mana and how they have taught me so much about nutrition, weight training, muscle groups, goal setting, goal crushing, etc.   And they have always, always believed in me.  That is huge.

Huge accolades to those two for helping me improve the quality of my life.  My family is so thankful as am I. 

Essay Written For 12 Week Challenge

As promised in the previous post here is the essay I submitted as a finalist for the 12 week challenge.

I had my first thoughts of being fat back when I was just 8 years old in 1969.  Sister Mary Mercy, our 3rd grade teacher, sent us home each day with a warning, “Beware of the Zodiac killer.”  We would then walk a mile home scared to death.  I remember thinking “Well I’m not skinny enough.  He would probably want one of the skinny girls.” 

In high school, I was a cheerleader but I was always at the bottom of the pyramid because at 120 pounds I was 20-25 pounds heavier than my girlfriends.  In college my swim team nicknamed me “Cutey Curves” because at 145 I was 40 pounds heavier than the other swimmers.  And so it went from there.  I have always believed I was fat (even when I wasn’t).

I had my last child when I was 40 years old and then the metabolism began to slow down.  I have put on weight for the past 15 years despite all my attempts to lose weight.  Inching closer and closer to 300 pounds, I was desperate for change; for help revving up my metabolism.  

Over the years I had tried many different weight loss methods with no long lasting results.  I was feeling out of options when the NLP Program at Gold’s Gym was made available to me. It was through this program that I met this young man who would become my trainer.  And YES, I was skeptical when he said he would help me if I wanted to sign up for the 12 week challenge.  I had a hard time believing anything would work for me.

I am no stranger to hard work, so I pushed hard with my workouts.  That was really the easier part for me.  But when he asked me to eat more, all those insecurities and fears of “eating = being fat” came to the surface.  I could not reconcile eating more in my mind and I fought it for five weeks.  It got to the point where my trainer asked my husband to get rid of the scale(s) in the house and only weigh myself once a week with him.  (You see, I would eat more at the beginning of the week, but then weigh myself.  If my weight hadn’t changed, I would eat less the rest of the week.) Once the scales were gone and I conformed to weighing only once a week with my trainer, the results followed.  

Another huge way my trainer helped me was with my self-worth.  I remember early on doing some exercise where when facing the mirror, I called myself the Pillsbury dough boy.  He immediately said, “Don’t talk about yourself that way.”  Any time I got discouraged and called myself gross or fat, he just did not allow that kind of talk.  This is another weak area for me -- believing in myself, but I am getting better at it.

My journey was not without setbacks.  There were many times he needed to adjust the food and/or the workouts due to illness, Mother Nature, and injury.  He made the adjustments, I followed the plan and the results always followed.  A major victory came two days after the challenge ended and my rheumatologist called and left a message with much surprise in her voice that my blood work (which is done quarterly) came back “surprisingly good!”  (This was not the case just four months previous - before the challenge began.)

Although my results may not seem as visible as others, what is happening on the inside is just as vital as what is happening on the outside.  I honestly believe the hard work on the part of my trainer as well as my determination to see this through has added years to my life.  For that I will be eternally grateful.  This is only the beginning of my weight loss journey and I am thankful to be continuing it with Ryan (my trainer) at Gold’s Gym.

Patty Deters  - 4/28/2016

It Always Seems to Come Down to This - July 28, 2016

My official "weigh in" day is Monday.  I have been wanting to write that I have lost 50 pounds for weeks now.  And yet, here it is another week and nope - not 50 pounds yet.  In fact despite this pictorial representation of calories in versus calories out - my weight stayed exactly the same.

To say that I was frustrated, would be an understatement.  It all came down to I was not eating enough.  That statement makes me crazy.  This would probably be a good place to insert my 12 week challenge essay that I wrote so you can understand why it makes me crazy.  Anyway Ryan offered to meet with me to come up with a game plan.

That meeting was today.  Now for the record I ate more yesterday like I was asked/told to do.  It also ended up being the first day in several weeks that I didn't take an afternoon nap.  I was like, uh oh, I think they may be right.  But I didn't want to lead with that.  Instead I kind of tossed my notebook down and exclaimed, "Why can I lose 33 pounds in 12 weeks, and then THIS!"  So Professor Teal (my new name for him) says, "So let me get this right, you are upset that in 15 weeks, you have lost 15 pounds?"  (Long Pause for Effect)  I hadn't realized that.  He kind of took the wind right out of my sails.

Well it turns out that Professor Shigematsu happened to be in the room and thought it necessary to draw me the average weight loss graph.

This was not what I really wanted to hear or see, but that doesn't really matter does it?

So I sheepishly pipe in, "Well I ate more yesterday and I didn't take a nap?"  Of course, I hadn't told them that I had been back to taking naps in the afternoon.  Well, that went over well.  (smile)

So we came up with a new plan of eating more.  I come home and begin working on some things and all of a sudden, I'm like, "I think I'll take a nap.  Just a little nap."  And then I looked at the time.  It was 1:30 p.m.  and I hadn't eaten lunch yet.  So I decided perhaps I would eat lunch first and see if I still felt like I needed to lay down.  Well, the answer to that is No.  After I ate, I had energy again.

I write this with humor, but believe me eating more is a challenge for me and I am sure this will not be the last time we visit this subject.

I will post my 12 week challenge essay in the next post.

July 18, 2016 - 6 month progress photo

6 months – 48.5 pounds gone. Thanks to Ryan and Mana for helping me to set goals and then to reach those goals. Thanks to the girls in the morning who don’t let me get away with anything – snitches! <3 And thanks to all the people I have met at Gold's Gym Clifton who encourage me daily – from a 9 year old boy, Triston to the 80 year old lady I swim with and everyone in between. And especially thanks to Dave and Joe for working out with me from the beginning. ‪#‎itneverwasjustfor12weeks‬

Feb 2016                   July 18, 2016

Morning Crew with Mana - this dynamic will soon be changing.

You Won! Oh Wait You Lost.

After our trip to Alaska, I was in a lot of knee pain and a lot of emotional pain and when I am like that, I forego writing.  When you take a cruise, you often climb a lot of stairs.  This would normally be fine, but I didn't think about it much until the pain was almost unbearable.  Then I was like, "Oh yeah, there's a reason I do not do the stair machine at the gym.  This is not good for my knee."

While I was still on the cruise, I scheduled a massage.  This would really be my first massage ever.  I told her about the pain I was having in my knee.  In fact when we were in Victoria, BC I couldn't keep up with everyone during the walk into town and Dave and I just headed back to the ship.  The day after we returned home, I went to the massage.  Well the massage just seemed to aggravate the knee even more.  I could barely move for the next 7 days.  Now yes that is exaggerating some, but it was extremely painful.  I could not touch my knees without it hurting.  I would try to do the classes at the gym and I couldn't get into a squat anymore.  I was super frustrated.  It was then that Ryan suggested it was time to see the doctor.  I agreed and started the process.  I got an appointment about 10 days later because I was waiting for my doctor to be in the office.

Meanwhile emotionally I was kind of beat up because I found out that I had actually been voted the first place winner in my age group for the Gold's gyms in the region.  But then Corporate Gold's gym liked the girl who had got second place better and gave her a national ranking of 4th.  Because she finished higher than me nationally, the Region rules are to place her ahead of me.  So she got 1st and I got 2nd.

I don't know why it got to me so much, but it did.  Probably coupled with the pain, it was just a bad combination. I just felt awkward when I got back. I felt stupid for ever thinking I could have won.  I felt the worst about opening up with my essay and writing the things I did.  I get personal with family, but not so much with others.

I never did the competition for the money, so that wasn't it at all.  And I feel like if I had been beaten fair and square, I could have taken that.  But for a corporaton to look at pictures and pick a winner without considering the local gyms input was to me unfair.

I feel like there are so many more people like me in the world (extremely overweight) than there are this woman they voted into first (fit and now fitter).  Why would they not want to try and reach the people like me.

It has taken me quite a while to process this all in my head.  I have continued to lose weight.  My trainer and I have a goal of 100 pounds in one year.

A few family members really helped me through those down days and reminded me that in the end I was doing this for me.  Once I realized that again, I started to heal.  I still felt very vulnerable for having opened up so much, and I definitely closed myself off for awhile.  I continued to go to the gym, but I was not as happy (if you will.)

But while I was still on the cruise, these pictures were posted on the Gold's Gym Grand Junciton Facebook page.  (I go to Gold's Gym Clifton.)

 They posted that I was in 1st place and in 2nd place.  So I wrote the manager of the gym and he said he would talk to me in person when I got home.  That is when he explained, I was in first place, but corporate had picked her to be a national winner, so they had to bump me to 2nd.

So anyway, now we have been home for about one month.  I am happy again and ready to rock the weight loss again.  I'm having fun in the gym again and my workout partners have been awesome.

It has taken this long to also find out what is up with my knee.  I found out last week that I tore my medial meniscus.  This happened at the beginning of Week 10 of the 12 Week challenge (so roughly March 20).  I was jump roping and I heard a loud pop and then my leg buckled.  I was in bad pain for three or four days and then manageable pain after that.  I certainly did not want to quit the challenge so I kept going.

I think after the Alaska cruise and the stairs, I about had done myself in.  I go on Thursday, July 7 to an Orthopedic doctor to see what my options are.  I just want to get back to where I can do all of every workout.  I have been able to swim for cardio and I am getting much stronger there.  I am actually having Ryan time me in 1000 yard free tomorrow.  I haven't swam that distance on purpose since I was 20.  I have a couple of swim meets, I could swim in August if I want to.  But first I need to see if I need a knee surgery or not.

I am not asking for any sympathy here.  I just like to get my thoughts down and move on.  We have had lots of great things happening in our lives too and I just haven't wanted to write at all.  So the fact that I am back to writing is a healthy sign.

During the challenge I was steadily losing 2 pounds a week.  After the Alaska cruise and my melt down, the trainers put me on a "rehab" schedule with way fewer workouts, very little cardio, and rehab exercises for the knee.  My weight loss has continued but it's just at one pound a week instead of two.  So far since January 18, I have never had a week where I gained.  So today at 24 weeks in, I am down 47.5 pounds.

I have been told over and over that I write too much or I over communicate, so hopefully you were able to make it through all of this and now you can say, "Phew, I made it."

June 24, 2016 - Not Your Normal FAC

Two teams, one sinister trainer Mana, and a whole lot of fun!‪#‎notyournormalfac‬, ‪#‎pattysgonnagetsomeabs‬

As a team we had to do 600 squats, 200 Lunges/per leg, 300 push ups, 20 sprints, 20 farmer carries, 150 TRX rows, 200 sit ups, and 100 pull ups.

No Excuses - June 14, 2016

This is one of my trainers (Mana) and this is why I feel like there are NO EXCUSES -- modifications yes, but no excuses. (This is also why we see results!) 

You Can Lose on a Cruise - June 6, 2016

You can lose on a cruise! Down 2 more pounds for a total of 44 pounds gone since January 18. I am thankful for all of you who continually encourage me. Extremely thankful for all at Gold's Gym Clifton and Next Level Performance Clifton. I know I've been more serious lately but I'm just determined! Deep inside I'm smiling!

Flying High over Denver Glacier - Another thank you to Ryan - May 27, 2016

To say that I was nervous would be a gross understatement.   Some things you do because you know your children will love them.  Ben loves to fly and has already co-piloted a Cessna twice.  When I first told him about this excursion, he was telling me all about the helicopter.  And Joe loves animals, so I knew he would love the dog sledding portion.  

It was the number one rated excursion.  The only problem was when I was signing us up (back in January), I was 26 pounds over the weight limit allowed on the helicopter.

My habit is to send everyone else while I stay behind.  Through the years, I've missed out on zip lining (twice), white water rafting (numerous times), para sailing, hiking, etc.  Sometimes due to weight and sometimes due to poor health.  

When I signed up for the helicopter excursion was about the same time Ryan from the gym was saying he could help me.  I talked to Dave and told him I was tired of passing on everything.  Could I buy myself a ticket also and if by May, I hadn't lost the weight, we could see about getting our money back for that ticket.  Dave was 100% for this as he wanted us all to do things together. 

It was the last week of March when I hit that 25 pounds lost!  And by the time of the trip I had lost 16 pounds more securing my spot on that helicopter!

Today they bussed us a short distance and then asked us all our weights.  Joe, one other lady and I were weighed also.  Apparently my weight was the "jackpot" number as I was given the co-pilots seat.  Me, the one who was slightly terrified of the whole helicopter ride was now front and center.

It was the most amazing thing I have ever done and if this is an indication of the joy my life will have in the years to come because of my continued fitness goals, then I have MUCH to look forward to.

Our pilots name was Ryan and he was the youngest pilot working for the company.  He had to be mid-20s.  

We were also blessed with great weather and we were the only cruise ship in Skagway today (4 ships were in Juneau yesterday).  Our pilot gave us an extra long ride because they were not very busy today.  

You could push these intercom buttons to talk to the pilot but since I was praying fervently I couldn't talk.  But Dave did.  

And yes, I would do it again!

12 Week Challenge Results - May 26, 2016

Many of you know that I participated in the Gold's gym 12 week challenge from January to April.  And many of you know of the great weight loss and overall health success I have had in those 12 weeks and the weeks following. The Awards ceremony was last night for our gym and one other gym in town (combined results). Because of technical difficulties (phones on airplane mode may have something to do with it), I am just finding out this morning that I took 2nd place in my category,  To go from not believing I would lose any weight to a second place finish feels really good.  As much as I love to win, it was never just that for me.   I want to live, not win.  I'm on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean hitting their fitness room at least once a day and sometimes twice.

I'm passing on breads and desserts because I want to see forward progress.

I want to thank everyone who has encouraged me along the way and ask that you don't stop.  I have always known I'm in this for the long run.  This is a one to two year journey for me and then a lifetime of maintaining.

Now off to explore Juneau this afternoon!

May 10, 2016 - Warming Up Outside

This is what we get to do as it gets warmer. So much to look forward to! That's Joe Deters hitting the tire.

Next Level Performance Clifton

May 9 · 

A little fun in the sun today @ ‪#‎NLP‬ semi private workout!

Fitness and Rest - May 1, 2016

Let me tell you, I write blog posts in my head every day.  It's taking the time to stop and get them down on here that is the hard part.  So let's see if I can recall some of what I wanted to share.

Some of you know I hurt my knee towards the end of the challenge.  I was jump roping - having an excellent day in fact - and my knee just gave out.  I kept on with the challenge.  I just had to have some modifications.  Then about ten days ago, my right heel started hurting real bad.  I had experienced this before (planter fasciaitis).  That hurts like crazy.  So rest was being ordered for my body.  We decided that my visit to moms would be a great time to rest.

I iced my knee and my heel as we sat and enjoyed each others company.  We did a little bit of walking, but in actuality that really hurt my knee and heel, so I gave myself a break and took it easier.

I did pop over to see my co-workers in Way Pub and to see Rosalie, Melissa, and Marian.  My biggest victory to share was how much better I am feeling and especially the seatbelt story.  Most of you know, but if not here goes.  When I flew out to Ohio in August 2015 that dang seatbelt b-a-r-e-l-y buckled.  I was soooo embarrassed, but sad also because I just could not get the weight off.

At the gym many people are complimenting me and telling me they can see a big change.  Me however, I just see how far I need to go.  BUT when I got on the plane this time and buckled my seatbelt, I could buckle it and I pulled at least 6 inches of slack.  I was SOOOO excited that I tapped the lady I was sitting next to and said, "Can I share a victory with you?"  I then proceeded to tell her all about the 12 week challenge.  I did this again on the next flight to the young father sitting next to me.  I'm so glad they were so kind to let me blab.

Look at all that slack.  To me that was tangible evidence of the progress.  Here are some photos from the visit.

Right before I left moms to head to the airport to head home, I received a phone call from our local Gold's gym to let me know I am a finalist.  So that is very exciting.  They asked me to submit an essay.  I have done that and if you are interested in reading it, just let me know.

The Awards ceremony locally is May 25th.  We will be in Alaska, so perhaps it will be posted on the Golds Gym Clifton Facebook page or the Next Level Performance Clifton page when the winners are announced.  We are gone May 22-31.  I have no idea what you win, but it doesn't matter because I have already won.  I didn't do it to win a prize.  I did it to win at life.

Today I was getting dressed for Bible fellowship and I could not find any pants to fit.  I wore some, but one of my good friends suggested I put them in the giveaway pile as soon as I got home, because they were simply too big.  So it will be interesting to see what tomorrow's weigh in tells me.  I missed last weeks weigh in and I feel like these two weeks a lot of change has happened.  But we will see.  I'll update (at least in my head.)

Thank you Ryan - April 11, 2016

A very special thank you to my trainer, Ryan for believing in me long before I believed in myself. He took my non-existent metabolism and taught me how to get it moving again. I have always felt that diet and exercise should be enough - not a boat load of supplements or products from the company trying to help you. Ryan listened to me and believed he could help me and he did. My 12 week challenge ended today but this is just the beginning of my weight loss journey. 33.5 pounds gone and 18 ¼ inches gone, Win or lose - I’m already the winner! ‪#‎winningatlife‬, ‪#‎motivationmonday‬, ‪#‎noessay‬

Ryan and me at the completion of the 12 week challenge.

Ryan, me and the ladies I work out with.

12 Week Challenge Ends April 11 - Summary Post - April 15, 2016

So today is Friday, April 15th and I am feeling great.  No depressing thoughts or sadness going on in this girl today.  My body is tired from working out all week.  In fact Joe just said "Every part of my body hurts."  We had great workouts all week.

At Gold's Gym there are age categories and men/women divisions.  I am in the 50-59 women's age group.  I really don't know if there are prizes.  I am just finding out that if you place in the top 3 you attend an awards ceremony.  I didn't know all that going into this.  There is one more group that ends their 12 week challenge on Monday, April 18.  Then I suppose the judging begins.

I lost 33.5 pounds and 18.25 inches and I believe 2% or 2.5% body fat.  I do not plan to stop any time soon.  I'm in this for the long run.  I honestly didn't believe I would lose any weight, but my trainer believed he could help me.   He took a lot of his own time to think through the best food program and the best exercise program; for that, I am eternally thankful.

Many of you remember me throwing in the towel a few years ago and saying this has got to stop!  I honestly felt like I had no control of my life and that I was going to die young if I kept on that track.  I quit the second job.  We stopped running a Bible fellowship.  I slowly unloaded all my volunteer duties and then by May 2014 I started working on my health.  That is when I tried a Weight Loss Center recommended by my rheumatologist.   I was successful at first by being put on a strict low calorie diet (1000 or so calories).  I was told not to exercise because I would be hungry.  And then I was given a bunch of supplements (actually I bought a bunch of their supplements) that would help me with weight loss.   This never made any sense to my mind because I thought diet and exercise should be how to lose weight, not pill popping.

Every week that I met with this weight loss center, I told them I physically could not take all of these pills.  Could they please just narrow it down to one or two.  Each person I talked to said I needed all of these.  That got pretty frustrating.  And then Joe was diagnosed with scoliosis.  That took over our lives and I stopped going to the Weight Loss Center.  From August 2014 to May 2015, it was all about Joe.

The surgeon had told Joe that just because he was fixing his spine, that was no guarantee for no back pain.  He would especially have to have a strong core for the rest of his life to help with the no back pain.  So Joe asked to go back to Golds.  We signed him up for some personal trainer sessions with a trainer named Zach.  We fully communicated with everyone there what Joe was recovering from.  Trainer sessions were about 50.00 an hour and after 20 - I just could not afford it.  That is when we were told about the NLP Program (Next Level Performance).  It was much more affordable and we were able to work out with a trainer in a semi-private setting 5 days a week as well as attend group classes.  By now Zach had moved away and Joe had a trainer, Mana.  Mana began working with Joe and I joined too so Joe wouldn't have to be alone.   I think this was August 2015 that we joined NLP.

As soon as I joined, I went every day - once a day with Joe.  I did this faithfully through December and really saw NO weight loss at all, but a lot of health benefits.  This is where I met Ryan (my trainer).  He saw something in me - I don't know exactly what - but he told me that if I wanted to do the 12 week challenge, he was sure we could be successful.  Like I said above, I didn't really believe that because I had worked out August-December with no weight change.  But I signed up on January 18th.  I told him I could commit to 1 hour semi-private training, 1 hour cardio, and 1 hour of class a day.  Now I was one of the heaviest people in the classes and a LOT of modifications were needed for me to feel successful but every single person I have met along the way was very encouraging to me.

At first on the nutrition I was told to EAT.  I have been conditioned my whole life that eating makes you fat, so this was very difficult.  For the first six weeks at least, I had to eat 1800-2000 calories a day.  I would start my week doing well with the eating, but I weighed myself every day.  And if by Wednesday, my weight hadn't changed, I cut my calories because I thought I wasn't eating enough.  I was NOT doing a good job of obeying my trainer.  By now Dave had joined NLP too, and my trainer told Dave to get rid of the scale(s).  Dave did this immediately and I swear I thought about the scale/weighing myself at least 30 times a day.  But results soon followed.

Every week I lost something - some weeks were better than others; but I saw progress every single week to the point of 33.5 pounds gone now.  It's been quite a ride.  I'll make sure I continue to keep you posted as I continue on this journey.  Now I have to decide if I am brave enough to show you the before/after photo.  Only a handful of people have seen this.  But if I do win, I guess it will end up on the wall at the gym - then modesty be damned at that point.

There's the progress!

Delayed Post from Sunday, April 10 (writing this April 15)

(TODAY IS APRIL 15th - I am fine.  Thanks Rebecca and Stephanie for being available last weekend.)

My 12 week challenge ends tomorrow.  I will continue with new goals, but as far as the challenge goes, that part ends tomorrow.  Today is Sunday, April 10.

I am writing this today because I think if I wait to write it, it may not get written.  My trainer asked me how bad I wanted to win.  I said, I thought we should at least try to win - give it our all.  He said, we could taper down on the number of carbs during the 12th week to lose more weight.  BUT if I did that I would need to slowly introduce them again after the taper.  I was all for it.

On Monday, my goal was 150 carbs, on Tuesday 120, on Wednesday 100, on Thursday 80, on Friday 60 and on Saturday 40.  Today was only 1/2 white potato at breakfast.  Now when I say carbs here, it's carbs like brown rice, oatmeal, fruit, breading on chicken.  There were other things I ate that had carbs like avocado, protein drink w/1 tsp honey.

Immediately on Tuesday morning I could tell the difference.  I told my workout partner that I thought I was going to take a break at working out after the challenge because this was no fun.  I had never thought that before.   I was totally unmotivated.  I asked our trainer that morning if tapering your carbs could make you feel that way.  He said "Absolutely."  I was actually better after that.  I mean we had been taught from a young age how to control our thinking.  So now I had to tell my mind that what I was feeling was not the real truth.

Well it got worse and worse every day.  Saturday and Sunday I kept myself away from other people because I was having so many negative thoughts.  I took some "after" photos and I thought they looked awful and that there was no way I was going to win.  Why did I try so hard and only make this much progress.  I was angry, mad, sad, depressed.  It was horrible!  I sat at my desk on Sunday and listened to Gospel songs as I worked - just to force the Word into my head.  I texted my friend, and two of my nieces and then I read their responses throughout the day to stay positive.

I have to tell you that I have an entirely new understanding of those who suffer with mental illness.  It's like your body/mind is telling you and making you feel one way, but you know that it's not the truth.  It's the battlefield of the mind in living color.

I am waiting to post this so that none of you worry about me.  I'll be okay.  I have an awesome husband who I am communicating fully with.  He's gone out and done the grocery shopping for me.  He's made the suppers this weekend.  Tomorrow I start the taper back up and I would say by Friday I will be my happy go lucky self again.  I can't wait.

But isn't that interesting how "diet" can affect your mind.  Rebecca was explaining macronutrients to me.  I don't understand it all but I experienced it.

I have also been in touch with my trainer and we agreed that we will not do this again.  He told me to bring some oatmeal to eat after the weigh in tomorrow.  He's done such a great job helping me.  I so appreciate it.

So don't worry about me.  By the time I post this, my brain will be thinking happy thoughts again naturally.

Nearing the End of the 12 Week Challenge - April 1, 2016

I haven't written much because during Week 9 I was sick with a chest cold.  During Week 10 I had an eye infection (not pink eye) and was on a strong antibiotic.  Then Week 11 (this past week) I was sick with a cold again.  Through it all I continued to go to the gym and sweat it out.    Leading in to Week 9  I think I lost 1/4 pound.  After Week 9 I lost 1.5 pound.  But after Week 10, I lost 6.5 pounds.

I think Monday will be the true test (after week 11) because I feel like the only reason I lost 6.5 pounds was because I was pretty sick the weekend before the Monday.  So I'll let you know in a couple of days when I weigh in again.   6.5 inches gone from the waist, 5 inches from the hips. 3 inches from the thigh.   But both Dave and my trainer think I am continuing to lose weight at a faster clip because we finally got my metabolism going.  Any way you look at it, I feel good and strong and am having a great time getting fit.

I also hurt my knee during week 10 while jump roping.  Let's just say I heard a pretty loud pop and then my leg buckled.  I did not fall, but walking was difficult for a few days.  I've been taking Motrin and icing.

Humbling Day - March 18, 2016

Hello readers,

I was sick all last week with a chest cold (Ben too).  I still went to the gym 2 hours in the morning, but I came home every afternoon and stayed home.  I did not see measurable progress in "pounds" lost (lost 1/2 pound), but it was kind of to be expected due to the week I had.

This week I started a new "carb cycle" diet.  A lot of chicken and salmon and repetitive, but none of that really bothers me at all.  If I don't eat correctly, I usually feel really crappy.  So it is well worth it for me to eat correctly.  I have cut out milk for some time now because it is one of those foods that I don't digest well.  So with this new carb cycle I am to have a protein shake at the end of the night and add almond milk.  I did that and I had a horrible time digesting that.  I was up till way past midnight getting my stomach to settle down.  So now I just do the shake with water.  But that is what I am referring to when I say if I don't eat right.  It's just not worth it to not feel well.

I came back to the gym ready to work on Monday morning.  I found I was at about 70% (after having been ill.)  By Wednesday, I could barely walk or move my arms because everything was sore.  But today I'm back to feeling 99% and not quite as sore.  This is my 9th week of the 12 week challenge.

I took a picture of my progress and put it side by side to my starting photo and I could see the progress.  That helped me mentally after having a week of no weight loss.  I could visually see the difference and that is motivating.

This morning when I was in our exercise class at 9:30 a.m. with 18 other friends/gym members, I found out that two people that I work out with in these classes are fighting cancer (and winning). They are there at the gym working out hard with me.  I find this very humbling and inspiring.  They want their bodies to be strong!  God bless them both.  I am definitely keeping them in my prayers.

Week 8 - March 11, 2016

I woke up Sunday morning with an awful bout of chest congestion.  There was no warning.  There was no runny nose leading up to it.  I just was hit with a chest full of congestion.  That was the beginning of my week 8 of the 12 week challenge.  I wrote my trainer and said I did not believe I should "swim" Monday morning as that takes lung power and I definitely did not have lung power.

I spent the week going to the gym only in the mornings.  I did 25 minutes of cardio and an hour of weights with a trainer each day.  Wednesday was by far my worst day and today was by far my best day.  I had my sense of humor back and my sass back,  so I knew I was getting better.

Have you ever seen this "meme?"

So tonight after supper, Dave said, "Have you lost a lot of inches off of your waist?"  I said, "Yes, 6 so far."  He said, "I can tell."  That scored big "husband" points.  :)

I wonder where I'll be in 12 weeks?  Stay tuned.......

Next week (Monday and Tuesday) our normal trainers will be gone.  I was kind of bummed by this.  You might think this next statement to be silly, but here's what I thought about.  On The Biggest Loser, there is usually a point in the competition when they "shake things up" and change trainers.  It teaches you to be ready for anything and that you CAN do this on your own.  So I thought about that and I am looking ahead to Monday and Tuesday with a positive attitude.

Oh yeah, and the biggest change this week!!!!!---- the past two Mondays, my trainer has said "Monday and Tuesday were good with calorie intake (2000 calories), but the rest of the week is where it went down hill.  My response?  "Well that's because I weigh myself, and I see the scale is not moving, so I think I must be eating too much and I slow down on the calorie intake (1500-1600).  He looked at Dave and said "Get rid of those scales!"  Then to me, "You are only allowed to weigh yourself on Monday mornings here at the gym with me."  That has been very challenging for me.  I like to know how I am doing.  So once again, I need to "trust the process."  So I have no idea what Monday's weigh in will show, but I will report.   Eat, Eat, Eat !  (I am burning 3500 calories a day.)

8 weeks almost done!  Signing off for now.  

SISTERS - Marcia's Visit February 2016

I have always thought of myself as very blessed to have six sisters almost to the point of feeling bad for those who do not have a sister to share their life with.  With having only one daughter, I was very thankful for her "girl" cousins and hoped that she would bond with them, like I did with my sisters.  I never felt bad that I didn't have a brother, I never really thought about it much.  But I have thoroughly enjoyed raising boys and I can say I have a much better understanding of the male species because of having boys.

With mom getting older, I try to plan trips out to Ohio to see her.  When I do get to Ohio, I get to see five sisters also.  But there never seems to be enough time to really visit.  Thinking back over the last year and a half, I was super blessed to have quality time with Teresa during Joe's surgery.

Then in June of this past year, Lisa got to join me in Banff, Canada and that was a trip of a lifetime.  It was so pretty and we had such a good time just getting to know the adult versions of ourselves.

And now most recently Marcia came to visit.  We couldn't believe that the last time she had visited, Ben was only like 2 years old or something.

Marcia arrived on a Wednesday evening around 9:00 p.m.  She had come from visiting friends in California.  Our weather was absolutely perfect while she was here as you can see from the photos.  I am very invested in the "gym" right now, so I had asked her if I could spend Thursday and Friday morning at the gym.  She was fine with that and Thursday morning after taking Ben to school I went and did my work out.  Once I got home and showered we headed to downtown Grand Junction to get some lunch at a place called Cafe Sol.  It was so nice that we ate outside.  Afterwards it was close to time to pick up Ben from school.  He has a very organized parking lot with staff coordinating the parent pick up.  We all line our cars up according to grade level and the staff person tells us when it is our turn to enter the pickup loop.  Marcia was taking photos of the process and she even hung out the window to get a picture of Ben walking to the car.  He loved that.  :)

We got home and made supper and then that evening we drove up to the Colorado Monument.  I really wanted to get some good sunset photos.  I was able to keep up with the hiking and that made me feel good about my fitness progress.  Later that evening we watched our photos on the TV.  We have Apple TV.  She had the photos from her last visit and then the photos we had taken so far.  The boys stayed downstairs and visited.  It was nice.

Marcia and Ben at The Colorado Monument

Colorado Monument at Sunset

Colorado Monument

Friday morning I went to the gym again.  I was given a super hard workout.  OMG.  I came home and Marcia and I took off at about 10:30 a.m. for Arches National Park in Moab, Utah.  There is a whole lot of history here and I wish I could repeat it, but I am not that good at recall. We did watch a short video when we got there and then we did the driving tour.  We got out and hiked at one point and I was so happy that I could do it.  Every other time we have come to Arches, I opt to stay in the car for the hike part.  Part of that reason is we come in the summer and it's like 105 degrees, but the other part was I wasn't in good shape in the past.

This was called Balanced Rock

This was the hike - this was called The Windows.

Here we are in the window!

It was such a beautiful day and we had such a nice time talking with one another.  Although there are only five 1/2 years difference between us in age, I really didn't know much about what she did once she moved out.  She would say remember when I lived here.  And I was like, uh, no.  But honestly, and this will sound terrible, the biggest thing I remember each time someone moved out was how exciting it was to get a new bedroom.

These one on one visits with Teresa, Lisa, and Marcia have just been awesome.  Mary is planning on visiting this summer and Laura and I may go on a trip together sometime soon also. Perhaps Donna and I will find some time also.   I am very thankful to have sisters and I am thankful for any time we get to spend together.  Thanks for coming to visit us Marcia!