New Year - New Goals

If you are new to this blog, my fitness journey began about one year ago on January 18, 2016 with a young man offering to help me win the Gold's Gym 12 week challenge in my age category.  I had been steadily putting on weight the previous 12 years and I didn't know how to get the weight off.  This blog details the struggles and the victories of my journey.

I have a post planned for when I reach one year that will lay out all I have accomplished and my goals for 2017.  Today I thought I'd keep it pretty real and discuss my husband and me and our relationship.

This year we celebrated 25 years of marriage.  He has loved me at every weight.  He has loved me when I did not love myself.  Now I don't want you to think we have a perfect marriage.  We've had struggles and trying times, but we did everything we could to work through the hard times because we are better together.  

I had tried almost every "diet" out there with no long term success.  Dave has always wanted to help, yet sometimes it's hard to give your spouse that help.  First of all as a heavy person, I KNOW I am heavy.  No one needs to tell me.  I remember him being so excited one year about the Christmas gift he got me.  His excitement got me excited.  The gift? A diet book called "Protein Power."  I felt so defeated even though his heart was simply to help.

Do not give a diet book to your wife as a gift.

We both have equal admiration and respect for Ryan (the trainer who has helped me) and we honestly thank God for the day he entered our lives.  At this writing I am down almost 60 pounds for the year and that has benefited my life SO much.

First of all I am NOT on a diet.  I follow a nutrition plan.  Some of you might be surprised that most days I eat 2000 calories a day.  I also have a fitness plan and it actually has a lot of variety and it's fun.

This year--2016--I have learned to love myself again.  To believe that I'm worth it.  Even writing this I feel selfish saying those words which really means there's room for growth in this category of my life.

As the weight has come off, my self-esteem and confidence has gone up.  This "new" me was at times confusing for my husband and again we'd have to sit down and talk it out.  

For Christmas he told me, "All I want is 12 date cards.  One a month.  You make time to go out to eat with old friends.  I want some of that time."  At first this was uncomfortable for me to hear, yet I knew he was right.   The more I thought about it and bought into the idea, the more fun I began to have with the idea.

So I wrote out a date card for each month and put them in envelopes.  One for each month.  Some are simple and local, some are out of town.  His favorite without a doubt is the NASCAR race in Phoenix in March.  That right there was a home run!

So for those of you who have been anticipating hearing my 2017 goals, here is one of them.  I am going to work diligently to make sure my husband knows he's number one.

I'll be reading this.

 PS.  Our January date is local - shop for a new wedding ring.  (I lost mine a few years back.)   I'll keep you updated on the date nights!

PPS.  The greatest gift however is not the date cards.  It is the good health I have been gaining which will enable us to enjoy the next 25 years together!  

                                    Happy New Year to all!

Reflection - 4 D's of Success - Are You Ready to Rock 2017?

January of 2016 - I most definitely had the desire, determination, dedication, and discipline to take on the 12 week challenge and beyond.  What I did not have was the believing.  I did not believe anyone or anything could help me.

Are you ready to start or start over with your goals?  Do you have the desire?  Websters - "to want something; to long for something."  My desire to get healthy was at 500%.  I had the desire.  Do you have the determination?  Websters - "a quality that makes you continue trying to do or achieve something that is difficult."  I never said, "I'll sign up but I don't think I'll stay with it if it gets hard."  I was in it for the long run.  Do you have the dedication?  Websters --refers to the act of devoting time and energy to a particular purpose.  I discussed this with my husband and then my trainer and we agreed on the amount of time I would devote to this goal.  Do you have the discipline?  Websters - to train or develop by instruction and exercise especially in self-control.  Years of 5am swim practices had taught me discipline.  I was ready!  Are you ready?

I had the 4 d's, but I did not believe the 4 ds would make any difference.  So where I was blessed was with the trainer that believed in me.  I don't think I realized how low my self- confidence was then.  But looking back now, I see that it was at an all time low.  For me it was the simple things like the nickname champion that I took note of.  If I was feeling down, or if I had been injured, or if I was generally just beating myself up, I'd go back and read through our correspondence and get inspired again by how much he believed in me.  Now one year later, I am seeing the shift to where I am believing in me.  He still believes in me - that never changed.  But I am believing in me and that is a huge step forward.

Gift from my daughter - Inspire and Empower and
Eyes on the Prize Champion - I still don't see
myself as a Champion.  So I try to remind myself of it.
It helps me believe in me more.

It didn't take long before I had a circle of friends who also believed in me.  They might say that I inspired them, but I would tell you that each and everyone of them inspired me.  We all have our struggles, but to be there for one another at all times, lifting each other up and encouraging one another is a true virtue to have in a friend.  And I have many of those friends.

Friends for life - Jenna's last day at Golds!

Today a friend wanted to "run" from a situation at the gym, but she made up her mind to stay.  It was difficult, but she did it.  Has that ever happened to you?   My downfall is I do not like anyone to see me when I'm hurt.  So when I hurt my knee during the 12 week challenge, I tried to just instantly leave the workout.  I had been jump roping and my knee gave a pop and I buckled.  I immediately just started heading to the locker room.  I was called back by my trainer and I stayed.  But I have a "flee" reflex.  Well someone today probably thought they were paying my friend a compliment but they misread the situation and it was actually quite an insult.  She was strong enough to stay.  She didn't flee.  We got to talk about it afterwards and another friend joined us.  He had strong words of encouragement also.  So I really can't say enough for having/building a strong support system of friends who will encourage you every step of the way.

Is 2017 your year?  Do you have the desire, determination, dedication, and discipline to start on your goal?  Do you need a person to believe in you?  Message me, I'll believe in you!  I have a "cousin" group going right now.  We three are cousins by marriage - which is kind of cool on its own.  We have decided to encourage one another in the year ahead.  We are "Cousins Committed to Change."  Build your circle and when tempted to "flee," push yourself to stay.  You'll be so glad you did.

I am feeling so much more hopeful for the New Year
than I was a year ago.

Where will you be in 1 year?  Where will I be in 1 year?
It's Exciting to Think about!

48 Week Progress Post - December 2016

Most people out there are looking for a quick fix, but what they can’t seem to grasp is the fact that it takes hard work, dedication, and discipline to not only obtain, but to maintain a desired physique.  Mana Shigematsu

I wish I could tell you that my weight loss journey was easy and quick, but that is not the case.  It can more accurately be described as “slow and steady.”  

The NLP program is an integral part of my success, but it is not the reason for my success.  I participated in the NLP program for four months with absolutely no weight loss.  I had a lot of positive health gains, but absolutely no weight loss.  My weight loss success is directly due to a trainer named Ryan Teal who said he would help me if I wanted to participate in the 12-week challenge (Jan-April 2016).

From that partnership, I emerged a champion.  I did absolutely everything I was told to do and he was able to put to use everything he had learned with his Exercise Science college degree.   We both gave 100%.  He wanted me to have success way beyond a 12-week challenge and hopefully you can tell by the before and after photos, that is what I am experiencing. 

Still working on those abs!  I think Kickboxing is going to give me some abs!
Check back in 12 weeks!  (Week 1- Jan 18, 2016; Week 48, Dec. 18, 2016)

My downfall in life has been to under eat.  I fought “eating” for a good 8 weeks of the 12-week challenge.  I did not understand that undereating puts your body into a state of defense.  Ryan had my husband get rid of the scales in our house.  To this date, there are no scales in my house.  I would eat properly on Monday and Tuesday, and then weigh myself on Wednesday.  If the scale had not moved, I went right back to under eating.  With no scales in the house for me to measure my progress, I simply “obeyed” and ate the correct amount of calories each day and success followed.

Often times when a contestant tries to win a challenge or a contest, they will grossly cut their calories and/or their carb intake to do so.  I never did this nor do I ever plan to do this.  This is very difficult to “recover” from and a reason why many people gain their weight back.   (Think The Biggest Loser contestants or check out Ultra Lean by Rob Riches)

I continue to work with Ryan.  He helps me with my food, my calorie intake amount, my macros, and my exercise plan.  I have come a long way in one year and I understand these concepts much better than I did a year ago.  But it is a broad field and I am thankful for his help.  

If I were to sum up my success, I would say that I am dedicated, disciplined, and obedient to what I am asked to do. I log my food EVERY day and I use my Fitbit to calculate my calories burned.   I have a lot of support from the many friends I've made.   I am patient; learning to be content with the phrase “slow and steady.”   I have at least one more year of actively working on getting the weight off and possibly two years and then I will embark on the maintenance phase for a lifetime.   So here’s to checking in with you again at the end of 2017 so you can see my continued progress.

I Rhyme - Sometimes! A thank you to all my supporters!

2016 would turn out to be
the year that I focused on taking care of me.
In January it began with a young man named Ryan
He told me he could help me and he wasn't lyin'

A 12 week challenge was about to begin
It was at Gold's Gym and he thought I could win
I thought he was crazy, I thought he was mad
But something inside of me wanted it bad

From day one it was tough, no doubt about it
But no matter how hard, I refused to quit
Good morning champ! Good job champ, Ryan would say
I wondered who he was talking to each and every day.

I found out I had a relationship with my bathroom scale
I weighed myself daily, at that I did not fail.
However, if it looked like the scale had me beat
The next day I would decide to under-eat

With lifelong habits of not eating enough
Your metabolism wonders what the heck is up?
So in order for me to be successful each day,
Ryan told Dave to "throw that scale away."

Through injuries, doctors, rehab and bruises
To family vacations on an Alaskan cruising
From standing push ups against the wall
To the lunges I could not do, no not at all

I've come far, yes I've come a long way
I'm setting new goals each and every day
Self-confidence I still work on, It's not easy for me
But I have lots of friends who help me, you see.

The weight loss train will continue to chug along
So my friends--don't leave me now, that would just be wrong.
2017 -- "THIS IS MY YEAR - PART TWO"
Whose encouragement do I need?  YOURS - that's who!

The last day of the 12 week challenge - April 2016

Helicopter ride (whose weight restriction I made
thanks to Ryan's help - in Alaska)

Oh by the way you have a torn meniscus.

Thank you to everyone that I have met this year either in person or by way of this blog that continually support me along the way.  I'm just like anyone else.  I have great days and I have days that are not so great.  So your words of encouragement are always appreciated.  Ryan is continuing to help me into 2017 so as I wrote above, I'll just have to wear my THIS IS MY YEAR shirt one more year.  I actually own it in a 2x, 1x, XL, L, M and S.  I'm in the XL now, but probably could get into the L.

This Is Us - I Am Kate

A slight departure from my normal posts, but have you been watching This Is Us?  I am absolutely loving every episode.  It is about a couple who are going to have triplets in 1970.  However, one of the triplets does not survive the birth.  But a baby was dropped off at the fire station and this couple take this baby home along with their twins and raise all three children.

I began watching this show and I was like - oh my goodness.  I am Kate!  In my mind, I struggled with so many of the things that they show Kate struggling with, from a little girl to an adult.  When Kate was little and she was at the swimming pool, she "covered up" so the other girls wouldn't make fun of her.  I was never teased or bullied like that, but I did "cover up" often.

In the top photo I am in the back row, last person on the right.  I thought I was so heavy.  My best friends are sitting in the front row in the middle.  The blonde girl and the dark hair girl to her left.  They were "super skinny" in my opinion and I always compared myself to them.  I look at this now, and I don't see fatty Patty.

In the bottom photo I am in the center with yellow shorts on.  These are my best, best friends from high school.  However, I always felt like an outsider.  They didn't make me feel that way.  I made myself feel that way.  Again, I thought they were all beautiful and I covered myself up with shorts.

I wonder what we can do to help the little girls of today gain confidence in their apperances?  I feel like This Is Us is doing a great job showcasing Kate's struggles.  There's a scene where she and her overweight boyfriend weigh in at a meeting and he reaches his goal and she loses like 1/2 pound.  Yet they had both eaten the same all week.  Oh my goodness, could I relate?  Dave could drop weight just by saying the words, "I think I'll drop weight this week."  Me however, it was brutal and slow and up and down.

Let's just say I am super thankful for where I am now.  As this stellar year (for me) draws to a close, I've been thinking about how thankful I am for all I've accomplished and for all those who have had a part in that with me.  I constantly need to work on the self-worth piece and I hope to get better at helping young girls with their self-worth so they don't struggle with it when they are in their 50s.

Real quick - the other part of the show This Is Us that I am loving is Randall.  Randall is the baby that was adopted.  He is African American.  He is being raised by a white family with white twins as siblings in the 1970s.  Think back to what the 1970s were like.  I was born in the 1960s.  In the early 1960s our neighbors were an African American family.  They had two little girls that played with me and my sister Teresa all the time.  I did not know they were any different than me.  I did not understand color or even the term "African American."  I just played with the girls.

Mildred, Soray, Me, and Teresa

Apparently my parents took a lot of heat for this, but they did not care.  They stood up for what they believed in - equality - and we children never knew it was an issue.

The most recent episode of This Is Us shows Randall and his father attending a Martial Arts Studio and I just absolutely love the initiation they did.  You may need to be on a desktop for the video to work, but you can google it too.  

"As you get older, you may find that things get hard.  The world isn't always a kind place, especially for men like us.....Jack your back was built to carry your son through life.  Are you willing to hold him up no matter what comes his way?"  "Yes sir."  "Show him."

Just so many things to love about this show and how it parallels my life.  Let's be a little kinder, a little more supportive, and encourage one another each day.  Have a great day!

My First Public Speaking Invite - T.O.P.S.

Today I gave a 30 minute motivational talk to the members of the local T.O.P.S. group.  T.O.P.S. stands for Take off Pounds Sensibly

On my way - with my props!

One of the ladies at Gold's Gym, Constance asked me about 6 weeks ago if I would come speak for 30 minutes to the TOPS group she attends.  I had actually never heard of TOPS, but I said I would absolutely be happy to.

I began to research the group a little and found out that TOPS mission is "to help and support our members as they take off and keep off pounds sensibly."  Well I felt like that fell right in line with a big part of why I had been so successful these past ten months.  I have had incredible support from first of all the trainer, and then my family and friends.

I wrote up my talk and practiced it.  It was right at 30 minutes.  I had a few people proof it (and thank you to those who did) and offer me feedback.  I wasn't nervous about speaking in front of others, I was more nervous wondering if they would like me.  (Still working on that self-confidence piece apparently.)

They start their meeting with the pledge of allegiance.  Then they gather in a circle and hold hands and recite the TOPS pledge (pictured below.)  I was impressed already.

TOPS Pledge

They handled some other business.  I could tell all the ladies knew each other well and all were very supportive of one another.  Then came my turn to speak.  I had some serious moments where I definitely held their attention and I had some humorous moments, where they all were laughing.  They really enjoyed the "seatbelt" story. 

I had traveled in August 2015 on a plane and could barely buckle my seatbelt.  Then I traveled in April of 2016 (after the 12 week challenge) and I buckled it with 9 inches or more of slack.  I was so excited I tapped my neighbor's arm on the plane to tell them all about it.  And then I did the same thing on the second flight.  I demonstrated this by tapping on one of the ladies' arms.  I am glad that went over well and the room was enjoying that story immensely.

I made it for the 30 minutes and then answered questions.  Then I stayed afterwards and answered some more questions.  They would love for me to join their group, but honestly it would conflict with my workouts in the morning and I have an awesome support system.  But I loved their group above anything I had ever tried before.  I said I'd love to come back and speak again in 6 months and show you that I am still progressing.

Of course, everyone wanted a "Ryan."  Ryan continues to teach me things every week.  And they are probably things he has told me all along, but I am just now grasping.  I'm so thankful for that.  

So I don't know if I'll get asked to speak again anywhere, but this was certainly a great experience for me.  Thanks to Constance for asking me.

Thanksgiving = Thanks Living

At this time of year, I like to reflect back on my year and remember all that I am thankful for.  I am a firm believer in God and all of His blessings, and I truly believe that God has put the right people in my path this year to help me live life more abundantly.  I am going to try and be brief, but you all know how that goes.  I am thankful beyond measure for Ryan Teal, Mana Shigematsu, Suzanne Barnes, Jon Drackett, Semaj Baldwin, and for ALL of the friends I have made this year.

Some of the many friends I have made this year.

Ryan Teal - The simple fact that you believed and still believe in me has helped me believe in myself.  I cannot thank you enough for being willing to teach me how to eat (and how to eat enough), how to exercise, how to not be a slave to the scale, and how to recognize my self-worth.   When you left Golds a lot of people actually told me that "change" would be good for me and I know there are a lot of people that maybe don't understand why I still work with you.  But I understand it and my husband and family understand it and that's good enough for me.  Thanks for speaking up and offering to help me way back when.  It has changed my life!

Mana, me, and Ryan

Mana Shigematsu - I am so thankful for you Mana.  In the beginning all I could see or hear was Ryan.  But as time went on, Ryan would tell me how you were an integral part of helping me succeed.  You were quite content to be behind-the-scenes.  I would make Ryan uncomfortable by praising him in a blog post and you were always just fine when I didn't mention you.  But let me tell you, I recognize your part in my journey and I am thankful for you.  I specifically remember an ab workout that you led us in right after I had hurt my knee.  I couldn't put much pressure on my leg, so you just turned the entire workout into an ab workout in the supine position.  You had/have a great sense of my mood and I was living a nightmare in my head.  I remember clearly you telling me to "get out of my head.  I would be fine.  My knee would heal.  The progress would continue."  I had been fighting back tears up to that point.  I think it was the first time I really realized that you were as invested in helping me as Ryan was.  There were many times you had that sixth sense of my mood and said the right thing at the right time to "snap me out of it."  So thank you!

Suzanne and my rehab days!

Suzanne Barnes - I am so thankful for the weeks of rehab we put in together to get my knee whole again.  I love that you believed it would heal and strengthen and that together we pulled off what the doctor said would not happen.  We got my knee strong again.  I loved those weeks of training together and I will be forever thankful for you.

Jon Drackett

Jon Drackett- Jon is a trainer at Gold's gym but is also a pastor at 970 church.  Jon has helped Joe with corrective exercises for his back and for his hyper-mobility.  I remember letting Jon know about the results of my knee MRI - torn medial meniscus.  Jon knew I was a Christian and so he simply asked me, "Has anyone prayed for you?"  I said, yes.   We then went on to have a ten minute conversation that simply reminded me that God is a God that heals.  Jon's fire for the Word was evident with every word he spoke to me in that ten minutes.  I went to the orthopedic doctor a few days later and was told that surgery was NOT needed.   And as you just read above, Suzanne helped me get my strength back in that leg.  Sometimes all you need is 10 minutes with someone to change your life.

Semaj and me

Semaj Baldwin - I do believe that God has the right people at the right place at the right time.  I believe that is the case with all of the people mentioned above and with Semaj as well.  He was hired at Golds right after Ryan and Mana left.  Our relationship is still building, but I love the way he motivates, inspires, and trains.  I am thankful for you Semaj!

More friends

And more friends

To all my friends:  You have seen me at my best and you have seen me at my worst, yet you have always been there for me to encourage me, to hug me, or to just simply be there.  My life has been enriched by each and every one of you and I could write something about each of you, but the post would go on for days.

As I learn to love myself, it becomes so much easier to love others.  This year has not only been significant in weight loss and fitness goals, but also in learning to love myself.  This has only strengthened my relationship with my husband and with my children.  They have given me their full support to do what I do.  They have changed their eating to correspond with mine, they have allowed me to be gone for hours to the gym, they have pitched in on chores and grocery shopping -- all of this allows me to work on me.  Working on me and building a stronger version of myself is going to pay back dividends for years to come.

My family - Love them all!

So to all of you who have touched my life this year - thank you.  Have a great thanksgiving!  And thank you for being a part of my thanks - living!

Trying New Things - Beast Barbell Training

Ryan and Mana are the reason I have had the success I have had these past 10 months.  If it was simply the gym, I'd have been successful 7 years ago when their doors opened. So since they left the gym, I have tried many different and new avenues of fitness.  It's been fun to explore different programs.  That being said, it is also nice to return to the familiar.

Friday morning workout at Beast Barbell!

I plan my week every week and run it by Ryan.  This week my Friday was quite full and I wasn't able to fit the gym in to the day, so I asked Mana if he would be willing to train me.  His schedule was open and so we planned for that.  Now for some reason, I really don't like working out alone.  I like working out with a friend.  So I asked Jenna if she would join me.  After all it was chest and shoulders and Jenna is ALWAYS game for shoulders.

Thanks Jenna!

There are just so many things I like about working out with Mana, probably too many to mention.  But here's a few - he knows how much we can lift and he pushes us beyond that.  He doesn't let us wimp out.  He's got Jenna's number (I had to say that Jenna - it makes me laugh.)  I'm always like - Ok I did ten - that's good, right?    He never accepts "that's good."  He always - yes always, pushes us for more.  I love that you, Mana, are willing to keep working with us as you have time.  Here's some photos from our chilly morning workout.

Notice the rack - these are 35's

Notice the rack - he made me do 50s.  And I did it.

Go Jenna!

Push ups - nicely done!

Until Mana says stop - say STOP already!

I love working out with friends!

So I titled this Trying New Things - because we were trying new things, but with a familiar face.  Thanks Mana!  Until next time.  

Trying New Things - YMCA in Minster, oHIo

This week I flew out to Ohio and showed up on my mom's doorstep on her 88th birthday.  It was a total surprise and it was pulled off perfectly.

Just to give you an idea of how seriously I am taking this weight loss journey, I have a notebook that I have kept all my progress recorded in and then I also had professional photographs from a family trip to Alaska.  I was packing both.  I had to decide which to put in my luggage and which to carry on.  If my bag was lost, which could I live without?  The photos went in my luggage and my notebook I carried on the plane with me.

Pictures in the suitcase; notebook in the carry on bag.

Prior to the trip, I contacted the YMCA and set up two trainer appointments.  The trainer Judi and I talked prior to my trip and were looking forward to meeting each other.  I stayed home with my mom on Wednesday (her 88th birthday), but Thursday morning I got up and headed to the Y.  The staff there was very welcoming.  I started off in the cardio room on the elliptical on my own and then I met up with Judi and we worked with the TRX.  We hit it off right away.

The crocodile

Judi and me - love my hair!

Before I left she asked me if I had done "spin" before.  I replied that I had not because I didn't really like the bikes.  She replied, we'll do some spin work tomorrow.  (Trainers have a way of hearing what they want to hear.  :)  )

Let's just say I was less than enthused about that and seriously thought about cancelling.  But that's just not who I am, so I showed up.  I have to say I had the greatest time on that bike.  I don't know why I "fear" the new things so much sometimes, but if I just break through the fear, I have a great time 99% of the time.

The whole room to ourselves!

After the time on the bike, we did some kettlebell work and then back on the bike and then some bar work and some ab work.  It was different and it was fun and Judi was so great to be around.  We both wished that I had more time to visit so we could train some more together.   Thank you Judi! 

No pain, no gain!

Sweat is pouring, glasses are off!

I'll be back to training with Ryan and Semaj next week, but it was fun to have a few days of total rest and relaxation.  The midwest is so quiet and peaceful and beautiful.  I'm thankful to my husband for running the business and the house so I could be gone.

"Country Roads"

My mom's backyard -- great for sprints!

I missed all my workout partners too -  see you all soon!

Every Thing Is Changing - Take One Day at a Time

My life has been experiencing a lot of changes lately, and it's a good time to self-reflect and ask myself how can I handle change gracefully?  It's always good to remember that all I can do is take one day at a time and remember to breathe.

Our daughter is graduating college in May and she has colleges "wooing" her to come get her doctorate in Engineering Education.  So she's busy figuring out the next step in her life.  My high school junior son visited School of Mines last weekend and came home and said,"I want to graduate high school this year and go to college next year."  So we've been steadily working on that this week.  His application is in and we have to sign up for some on line classes to finish high school early.

Our business is hopping, keeping us all busy.  The NLP program that I've been a part of for over a year now is undergoing a lot of changes since Mana and Ryan left a few weeks ago.  I'm trying to figure out a new fitness routine so that I can continue with my goals and not be frustrated.   And on top of all of that one of Joe's friends that we've known since pre-school took his own life this week.

At times the pressure of the week seemed too much.  But I know better.  I've been taught better.  So sometimes I just have to slow down and talk to myself or even better I have a great spouse to talk to and we remind each other of what we've been taught.  First of all God is always first.  Remember to keep God first.  Pray, read the Bible, reflect -- this always brings peace for me.

Then I remember to take one day at a time.  With so much change around me, I begin to doubt that I'll ever get all the weight off.  I don't want to give up.  I just feel like "this is as good as it gets."  So again, I have to have a talk with myself and remind myself to just take ONE DAY AT A TIME.

So I've made a goal for myself for these next two months - because the holidays are upon us and things seem to speed up instead of slow down -- to just "breathe" and "take one day at a time."  I encourage you to do the same if you begin to feel overwhelmed.  I also remind myself that there are two ways to look at every situation so why not pick the positive way?

I would love your suggestions on how to respond to the following comments:  I was shopping for new clothes and for the first time in over 15 years I found myself in unfamiliar territory.  I was in the regular part of the store - not the plus size section of the store.  I actually asked a clerk for some help and she suggested a name brand of clothing that she liked.  When I told her I had lost 56 pounds since January - she asked "Did you have cancer?"   Then again at check out, I was telling the clerk about losing the weight and  she joyfully asked, "Oh did you have the surgery?"  I told both of them that no, I had worked with a trainer who had helped me with diet and exercise.  Any suggestions on how to handle that any better?

I love this next incident in that it shows you why Ryan is so valued by so many.  My son Joe went to a NLP workout this week.  When he came home, my husband Dave asked Joe, "Did anyone ask where I was?"  Joe said, "No." Then Dave just very honestly said, "Ryan would have asked where I was."  That's it in a nutshell.  He (Ryan) cared about each person that he trained.  It was much more than just a job or a paycheck.  That's the piece that is lacking right now in the program for me.  I'm building it with one of the trainers and that's been a positive for me.

That simple remark that Dave made that night reminded me also to make sure I was showing care and concern for those that I interact with.  It's a big deal.  We (our family) try to tell/show people how much they mean to us.  We are reminded again that this is such an important thing to do with our friends and acquaintances, because we never know what people are struggling with in their lives.  There is nothing we can do now that would bring Joe's friend back - but we can remember to be kind to those we interact with in the future.

So this post tonight is a reflective post.  If you've made it through my "essay" I say congratulations.  This is just a little bit of what goes through my head in a week.  So while everything seems to be changing, I will continue to take one day at a time.