New Year - New Goals

If you are new to this blog, my fitness journey began about one year ago on January 18, 2016 with a young man offering to help me win the Gold's Gym 12 week challenge in my age category.  I had been steadily putting on weight the previous 12 years and I didn't know how to get the weight off.  This blog details the struggles and the victories of my journey.

I have a post planned for when I reach one year that will lay out all I have accomplished and my goals for 2017.  Today I thought I'd keep it pretty real and discuss my husband and me and our relationship.

This year we celebrated 25 years of marriage.  He has loved me at every weight.  He has loved me when I did not love myself.  Now I don't want you to think we have a perfect marriage.  We've had struggles and trying times, but we did everything we could to work through the hard times because we are better together.  

I had tried almost every "diet" out there with no long term success.  Dave has always wanted to help, yet sometimes it's hard to give your spouse that help.  First of all as a heavy person, I KNOW I am heavy.  No one needs to tell me.  I remember him being so excited one year about the Christmas gift he got me.  His excitement got me excited.  The gift? A diet book called "Protein Power."  I felt so defeated even though his heart was simply to help.

Do not give a diet book to your wife as a gift.

We both have equal admiration and respect for Ryan (the trainer who has helped me) and we honestly thank God for the day he entered our lives.  At this writing I am down almost 60 pounds for the year and that has benefited my life SO much.

First of all I am NOT on a diet.  I follow a nutrition plan.  Some of you might be surprised that most days I eat 2000 calories a day.  I also have a fitness plan and it actually has a lot of variety and it's fun.

This year--2016--I have learned to love myself again.  To believe that I'm worth it.  Even writing this I feel selfish saying those words which really means there's room for growth in this category of my life.

As the weight has come off, my self-esteem and confidence has gone up.  This "new" me was at times confusing for my husband and again we'd have to sit down and talk it out.  

For Christmas he told me, "All I want is 12 date cards.  One a month.  You make time to go out to eat with old friends.  I want some of that time."  At first this was uncomfortable for me to hear, yet I knew he was right.   The more I thought about it and bought into the idea, the more fun I began to have with the idea.

So I wrote out a date card for each month and put them in envelopes.  One for each month.  Some are simple and local, some are out of town.  His favorite without a doubt is the NASCAR race in Phoenix in March.  That right there was a home run!

So for those of you who have been anticipating hearing my 2017 goals, here is one of them.  I am going to work diligently to make sure my husband knows he's number one.

I'll be reading this.

 PS.  Our January date is local - shop for a new wedding ring.  (I lost mine a few years back.)   I'll keep you updated on the date nights!

PPS.  The greatest gift however is not the date cards.  It is the good health I have been gaining which will enable us to enjoy the next 25 years together!  

                                    Happy New Year to all!

Reflection - 4 D's of Success - Are You Ready to Rock 2017?

January of 2016 - I most definitely had the desire, determination, dedication, and discipline to take on the 12 week challenge and beyond.  What I did not have was the believing.  I did not believe anyone or anything could help me.

Are you ready to start or start over with your goals?  Do you have the desire?  Websters - "to want something; to long for something."  My desire to get healthy was at 500%.  I had the desire.  Do you have the determination?  Websters - "a quality that makes you continue trying to do or achieve something that is difficult."  I never said, "I'll sign up but I don't think I'll stay with it if it gets hard."  I was in it for the long run.  Do you have the dedication?  Websters --refers to the act of devoting time and energy to a particular purpose.  I discussed this with my husband and then my trainer and we agreed on the amount of time I would devote to this goal.  Do you have the discipline?  Websters - to train or develop by instruction and exercise especially in self-control.  Years of 5am swim practices had taught me discipline.  I was ready!  Are you ready?

I had the 4 d's, but I did not believe the 4 ds would make any difference.  So where I was blessed was with the trainer that believed in me.  I don't think I realized how low my self- confidence was then.  But looking back now, I see that it was at an all time low.  For me it was the simple things like the nickname champion that I took note of.  If I was feeling down, or if I had been injured, or if I was generally just beating myself up, I'd go back and read through our correspondence and get inspired again by how much he believed in me.  Now one year later, I am seeing the shift to where I am believing in me.  He still believes in me - that never changed.  But I am believing in me and that is a huge step forward.

Gift from my daughter - Inspire and Empower and
Eyes on the Prize Champion - I still don't see
myself as a Champion.  So I try to remind myself of it.
It helps me believe in me more.

It didn't take long before I had a circle of friends who also believed in me.  They might say that I inspired them, but I would tell you that each and everyone of them inspired me.  We all have our struggles, but to be there for one another at all times, lifting each other up and encouraging one another is a true virtue to have in a friend.  And I have many of those friends.

Friends for life - Jenna's last day at Golds!

Today a friend wanted to "run" from a situation at the gym, but she made up her mind to stay.  It was difficult, but she did it.  Has that ever happened to you?   My downfall is I do not like anyone to see me when I'm hurt.  So when I hurt my knee during the 12 week challenge, I tried to just instantly leave the workout.  I had been jump roping and my knee gave a pop and I buckled.  I immediately just started heading to the locker room.  I was called back by my trainer and I stayed.  But I have a "flee" reflex.  Well someone today probably thought they were paying my friend a compliment but they misread the situation and it was actually quite an insult.  She was strong enough to stay.  She didn't flee.  We got to talk about it afterwards and another friend joined us.  He had strong words of encouragement also.  So I really can't say enough for having/building a strong support system of friends who will encourage you every step of the way.

Is 2017 your year?  Do you have the desire, determination, dedication, and discipline to start on your goal?  Do you need a person to believe in you?  Message me, I'll believe in you!  I have a "cousin" group going right now.  We three are cousins by marriage - which is kind of cool on its own.  We have decided to encourage one another in the year ahead.  We are "Cousins Committed to Change."  Build your circle and when tempted to "flee," push yourself to stay.  You'll be so glad you did.

I am feeling so much more hopeful for the New Year
than I was a year ago.

Where will you be in 1 year?  Where will I be in 1 year?
It's Exciting to Think about!

48 Week Progress Post - December 2016

Most people out there are looking for a quick fix, but what they can’t seem to grasp is the fact that it takes hard work, dedication, and discipline to not only obtain, but to maintain a desired physique.  Mana Shigematsu

I wish I could tell you that my weight loss journey was easy and quick, but that is not the case.  It can more accurately be described as “slow and steady.”  

The NLP program is an integral part of my success, but it is not the reason for my success.  I participated in the NLP program for four months with absolutely no weight loss.  I had a lot of positive health gains, but absolutely no weight loss.  My weight loss success is directly due to a trainer named Ryan Teal who said he would help me if I wanted to participate in the 12-week challenge (Jan-April 2016).

From that partnership, I emerged a champion.  I did absolutely everything I was told to do and he was able to put to use everything he had learned with his Exercise Science college degree.   We both gave 100%.  He wanted me to have success way beyond a 12-week challenge and hopefully you can tell by the before and after photos, that is what I am experiencing. 

Still working on those abs!  I think Kickboxing is going to give me some abs!
Check back in 12 weeks!  (Week 1- Jan 18, 2016; Week 48, Dec. 18, 2016)

My downfall in life has been to under eat.  I fought “eating” for a good 8 weeks of the 12-week challenge.  I did not understand that undereating puts your body into a state of defense.  Ryan had my husband get rid of the scales in our house.  To this date, there are no scales in my house.  I would eat properly on Monday and Tuesday, and then weigh myself on Wednesday.  If the scale had not moved, I went right back to under eating.  With no scales in the house for me to measure my progress, I simply “obeyed” and ate the correct amount of calories each day and success followed.

Often times when a contestant tries to win a challenge or a contest, they will grossly cut their calories and/or their carb intake to do so.  I never did this nor do I ever plan to do this.  This is very difficult to “recover” from and a reason why many people gain their weight back.   (Think The Biggest Loser contestants or check out Ultra Lean by Rob Riches)

I continue to work with Ryan.  He helps me with my food, my calorie intake amount, my macros, and my exercise plan.  I have come a long way in one year and I understand these concepts much better than I did a year ago.  But it is a broad field and I am thankful for his help.  

If I were to sum up my success, I would say that I am dedicated, disciplined, and obedient to what I am asked to do. I log my food EVERY day and I use my Fitbit to calculate my calories burned.   I have a lot of support from the many friends I've made.   I am patient; learning to be content with the phrase “slow and steady.”   I have at least one more year of actively working on getting the weight off and possibly two years and then I will embark on the maintenance phase for a lifetime.   So here’s to checking in with you again at the end of 2017 so you can see my continued progress.

I Rhyme - Sometimes! A thank you to all my supporters!

2016 would turn out to be
the year that I focused on taking care of me.
In January it began with a young man named Ryan
He told me he could help me and he wasn't lyin'

A 12 week challenge was about to begin
It was at Gold's Gym and he thought I could win
I thought he was crazy, I thought he was mad
But something inside of me wanted it bad

From day one it was tough, no doubt about it
But no matter how hard, I refused to quit
Good morning champ! Good job champ, Ryan would say
I wondered who he was talking to each and every day.

I found out I had a relationship with my bathroom scale
I weighed myself daily, at that I did not fail.
However, if it looked like the scale had me beat
The next day I would decide to under-eat

With lifelong habits of not eating enough
Your metabolism wonders what the heck is up?
So in order for me to be successful each day,
Ryan told Dave to "throw that scale away."

Through injuries, doctors, rehab and bruises
To family vacations on an Alaskan cruising
From standing push ups against the wall
To the lunges I could not do, no not at all

I've come far, yes I've come a long way
I'm setting new goals each and every day
Self-confidence I still work on, It's not easy for me
But I have lots of friends who help me, you see.

The weight loss train will continue to chug along
So my friends--don't leave me now, that would just be wrong.
2017 -- "THIS IS MY YEAR - PART TWO"
Whose encouragement do I need?  YOURS - that's who!

The last day of the 12 week challenge - April 2016

Helicopter ride (whose weight restriction I made
thanks to Ryan's help - in Alaska)

Oh by the way you have a torn meniscus.

Thank you to everyone that I have met this year either in person or by way of this blog that continually support me along the way.  I'm just like anyone else.  I have great days and I have days that are not so great.  So your words of encouragement are always appreciated.  Ryan is continuing to help me into 2017 so as I wrote above, I'll just have to wear my THIS IS MY YEAR shirt one more year.  I actually own it in a 2x, 1x, XL, L, M and S.  I'm in the XL now, but probably could get into the L.

This Is Us - I Am Kate

A slight departure from my normal posts, but have you been watching This Is Us?  I am absolutely loving every episode.  It is about a couple who are going to have triplets in 1970.  However, one of the triplets does not survive the birth.  But a baby was dropped off at the fire station and this couple take this baby home along with their twins and raise all three children.

I began watching this show and I was like - oh my goodness.  I am Kate!  In my mind, I struggled with so many of the things that they show Kate struggling with, from a little girl to an adult.  When Kate was little and she was at the swimming pool, she "covered up" so the other girls wouldn't make fun of her.  I was never teased or bullied like that, but I did "cover up" often.

In the top photo I am in the back row, last person on the right.  I thought I was so heavy.  My best friends are sitting in the front row in the middle.  The blonde girl and the dark hair girl to her left.  They were "super skinny" in my opinion and I always compared myself to them.  I look at this now, and I don't see fatty Patty.

In the bottom photo I am in the center with yellow shorts on.  These are my best, best friends from high school.  However, I always felt like an outsider.  They didn't make me feel that way.  I made myself feel that way.  Again, I thought they were all beautiful and I covered myself up with shorts.

I wonder what we can do to help the little girls of today gain confidence in their apperances?  I feel like This Is Us is doing a great job showcasing Kate's struggles.  There's a scene where she and her overweight boyfriend weigh in at a meeting and he reaches his goal and she loses like 1/2 pound.  Yet they had both eaten the same all week.  Oh my goodness, could I relate?  Dave could drop weight just by saying the words, "I think I'll drop weight this week."  Me however, it was brutal and slow and up and down.

Let's just say I am super thankful for where I am now.  As this stellar year (for me) draws to a close, I've been thinking about how thankful I am for all I've accomplished and for all those who have had a part in that with me.  I constantly need to work on the self-worth piece and I hope to get better at helping young girls with their self-worth so they don't struggle with it when they are in their 50s.

Real quick - the other part of the show This Is Us that I am loving is Randall.  Randall is the baby that was adopted.  He is African American.  He is being raised by a white family with white twins as siblings in the 1970s.  Think back to what the 1970s were like.  I was born in the 1960s.  In the early 1960s our neighbors were an African American family.  They had two little girls that played with me and my sister Teresa all the time.  I did not know they were any different than me.  I did not understand color or even the term "African American."  I just played with the girls.

Mildred, Soray, Me, and Teresa

Apparently my parents took a lot of heat for this, but they did not care.  They stood up for what they believed in - equality - and we children never knew it was an issue.

The most recent episode of This Is Us shows Randall and his father attending a Martial Arts Studio and I just absolutely love the initiation they did.  You may need to be on a desktop for the video to work, but you can google it too.  

"As you get older, you may find that things get hard.  The world isn't always a kind place, especially for men like us.....Jack your back was built to carry your son through life.  Are you willing to hold him up no matter what comes his way?"  "Yes sir."  "Show him."

Just so many things to love about this show and how it parallels my life.  Let's be a little kinder, a little more supportive, and encourage one another each day.  Have a great day!