What Are Your Goals - And It Can't Be a Number

Imagine if your trainer asked you to get crystal clear about your goals, EXCEPT those goals can't have anything to do with numbers on a scale.  What would you say?  How do you want to FEEL?
"Because that's really it, isn't it?  When we start out on any fitness or health journey, whether we know it or not, we're chasing a feeling.  Maybe we desperately want to feel in control again.  Maybe we want to feel free.  Maybe we want to feel strong.  Maybe we want to feel accepted.  Maybe we want to feel seen or appreciated or valued.  But I guarantee you we aren't actually chasing the feeling of 125 pounds."

Perhaps a goal is to do a pull up!

I loved this because I had just written about "What was the best part of my trip to Bermuda?"  And all I could say is that it was a "feeling."  A friend of mine told me about this article she had just read - that I quoted above.  It's called You Weigh WHAT?! and can be found on gritandgratitude.com.

She asked her clients about their goal as stated above.  Then she took before pictures.  At the end, she took after pictures.  Every week she weighed them, measured their body fat and checked for change in inches (waist and hips.)  However, she did NOT let them see the numbers.    The program was designed to take the power AWAY from numbers.

"At the end of the program, every one of my challengers made remarkable visual progress!  Many of them were comfortably wearing their 'goal' outfit by weeks 3 and 4, so needless to say, come week 8 we were seeing some pretty dramatic changes in those pictures."  She mentions how in the before photos, she noticed looks of defeat and shame and even tears.  However, in the after photos, there were giant smiles!  They didn't need her confirmation, they could feel it in their bodies, in their clothes and in their daily interactions with others.

She shared the progress photos at the end with the whole group and it's just our human nature to want to know the "numbers" that go along with the photo.  She didn't tell them.  They each voted on the challenger they thought made the most dramatic change.  Once all the votes were in, she shared the pounds, body fat and inches lost with those challengers that wanted to know.  "Even after they SAW their own transformation, they let the numbers (even "better" numbers) steal that joy as quickly as it came."

DON'T LET THE NUMBER STEAL YOUR JOY!

I can't tell you how many times I would come to Ryan and tell him about the most excellent doctor appointment I had and how blown away the doctor was and how she would say "Keep doing what you are doing."  But then perhaps the next day I would "weigh in" and maybe only lose 1/2 pound and I would get physically angry.  (Drove him crazy.)  We should strive to NOT live like I was.

That doesn't mean I don't keep striving towards my goal; it means I don't let my mind try to trick me into thinking I'm not making progress because of a number!  Look at this before picture.  I think I've made some progress!  Keep at it folks.

Jan 2016 / July 2017

 I'll never forget Suzanne telling me to "keep moving."  She helped me with rehab on my knee, and it hurt particularly bad that day.  And to add insult to injury my arthritis was bothering me.  She said, "The best thing you can do is KEEP MOVING."  So whenever I have a day where my body feels funky, I just remember I'm helping my future self by continuing to move today.

Keep moving - no matter how my body feels.

Here is the article for further reference:
https://www.gritandgratitude.com/blog/2017/6/29/tfyldjtahyrn06v94gmlniyikoqrze

Life is Incredible

Oh my goodness I have so much to say.  Shocker, isn't it?!?

My husband and I recently returned from a cruise to Bermuda.  Several people have asked me "What was your favorite part of the cruise."  The only thing I can say is that it is a "feeling."  A feeling of thankfulness for where I am today, a feeling for how active I can be today, a feeling of how great life is for me!

I've slowly (over time) made a shift in my thinking about my fitness journey.  For so long I was caught up in the number on the scale and why hadn't it moved down more or faster or whatever!  I really think I put pressure on myself to get down to at least 100 pounds lost before Ryan decided to move on in his career and possibly stop helping me.  I don't know if that makes sense or not, but for a long time I wanted to lose the weight to make him proud.  Yet all along he has said, "You are doing this for YOU! Not me.  Not anyone else.  YOU."  I feel like that has clicked in the past few months (only took a year.  lol)  I think the biggest thing I can stress here is make sure you are doing it for you!  Maybe you want to look good for your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe your parent is pressuring you??  You need to get to the place that you want to do it for YOU!

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us.  If my mind is made up that I am doing this for ME, then it is easier for me to work around the curveballs that are thrown my way.  I've always been a competitor so throw a curve ball at me and I'll show you how I can overcome.

The other thing I realized is how many women there are who are much thinner than I am and look fantastic, yet still are unhappy with their body or their weight.  (Was I going to get to my goal weight and still be unhappy?  I need to change that perception now.)  And then also how many times a day they weigh themselves. Let me ask you this, when you weigh yourself (more than once a day) are you going to do something different that day based on the number?  If not, why weigh yourself?   I hope to help change your perception of yourself by writing what I am learning.

Would I love to have the body I had at 20 and before 3 children?  Maybe.  But I'd much rather be happy, healthy, and strong. The last time I weighed myself was before Ryan left at the end of May.  The next time I will weigh myself (because of my summer) is at the end of July.  I cannot tell you how freeing this is.  I get physically angry at the number on the scale and it usually ruins my day if not my week.  Do you know how crazy that is?  I need to STOP that.

So far I have lost 66 pounds.  I have NOT lost 100 pounds.  BUT - here is what I have done so far this summer that NEVER would have been possible 18 months ago (or for the past 12 years).

First time EVER - zip lining

First time EVER as an adult cliff jumping

First time in a VERY long time - I wore a bathing suit in public.

First time EVER - simulated skydiving

First time in 10 years to go away with just my husband -
AND stay in the same room because I don't snore like a freight train anymore.

Please do NOT let the scale define you!  Do not let it occupy space in your head.   I am not near my goal weight at all, but I am also no longer almost 300 pounds.  I am so much healthier AND happier.  I will get there.  It's just going to be on a slower timetable than some.  And I will get there because I am doing this for ME.

You are more than a number

I'm Not Where I Want to Be BUT Are We Ever?

Today I would like to remind you that you are a WHOLE lot more than a number on a scale.  Believe me, the scale trips me up too.  It angers me, puts me in a tizzy, my attitude (after the scale) frustrates those who are trying to help me.  So every once in a while a post like this one is necessary even if it is just for me to come back and re-read.

Don't let that scale "get" to you!

I sometimes wonder if it takes me 3 years to lose 100 pounds, will anyone be interested in the fact that I lost 100 pounds or will they be more interested in how long it took me?  I'm just being real here.  I have these thoughts.

Have you ever asked yourself, "What's the worst that could happen?"  Then after you've concluded what the worst is, you ask yourself, "Can I deal with that?"  I found myself asking myself this question this week.  "What's the worst that could happen (in regards to weight loss)?"  I believe the worst that could happen is that this weight, whatever it is today, is the best it will ever be.  I won't lose any more and I'll be stuck at this weight.  Then I ask myself, can you deal with that.  And surprisingly, yes I can.  (Now I do not think I'm going to be stuck at this weight forever, but I have to have these talks with myself at times.)

At this present weight, I just went ziplining for the first time ever!  (I've passed many times because I was too heavy.)  

At this present weight, I put on a bathing suit in front of my in-laws!!!  (First time in over 10 years.)

 At this present weight, I climbed up a pretty tough water slide and went off of it with my son.

At this present weight, I fit in a roadside bathroom stall.  (I no longer have to go in the handicap stall to "fit.")  Here's a HUGE plus -- At this present weight, I no longer snore like a freight train.  I no longer need my own private hotel room.  (No one - husband or child -- could sleep with me in the past.)  I'm actually back in a hotel room with my husband.  SO - honestly if this was the best that it ever got, it's pretty darn good.

I want my readers to know that this is not a walk in the park for me.  I have my struggles.  I was told to take the week off this past week.  We were at a family reunion in Branson with Dave's family.  I NEEDED the week off.  My brain is ON all the time.  My background is accounting.  I count calories, I count macros, I count calories expended, I count ounces of water drunk... you get the idea.  I needed permission to give myself a break and just go on vacation and not have to think.

I'm thrilled that I did the ziplining, but I have a sore right thumb joint.  And guess what?  The right hand was the "braking" hand.  My right thumb and pointer finger are hurt pretty bad right now.  My left ankle hurts from "stopping" myself and from the two - 65 step spiral staircases we climbed to zipline.  BUT - noone had to wait for me on the stairs (VICTORY).  However even with these slight setbacks, if you asked me if I had known that would have happen, would I have still gone ziplining?  I would say 100% yes.  It was the adventure of a lifetime for me.

Dave's parents - getting us together for years now with their timeshare.

We are blessed that Dave's parents have timeshare and get all the families together every two years.  While the 10 of us (12 with the instructors) were on a small platform squished together, our niece Kaitlin remarked.   "This is a great icebreaker."  I had to agree wholeheartedly.  I had not seen any of them since before I had started to lose weight - 18 months ago.  But here we are- squished together - having a great time together.  It was a great icebreaker.

While I was away we knew fried chicken was on the menu.  It was suggested to me to pass on that, or have a small piece.  Well dang if that fried chicken didn't smell delicious and I just couldn't pass.  I had one piece.  Now you might say, well you could have peeled the skin off.  Yeah, I could have.  But I didn't.  And I did it again the next day for lunch.  Whether or not this messes up the "scale" this week, I may not know - but I can tell you it WILL NOT hurt me in the long run because I am right back on plan as of yesterday (when we arrived home.)  Don't beat yourself up if you go off plan.  I ate that chicken and I smiled the entire time.  What's the worst that could happen?  and go from there.

I will reach that 100 pound weight loss.  And I hope that no matter how long it takes, you will still be there cheering me on and I strongly suspect I will have many more firsts in the months to come.

1st time playing Laser Tag

1st time in a kayak

Don't Worry - Be Happy!

Check That Off My Bucket List

Tonight I did something I've wanted to do for a very long time, but was always too heavy to do.  I went ziplining.  I have the greatest family EVER.  They have been encouraging me the entire way on this weight loss / reclaim my life journey.  We are in Branson, Missouri and the last time we were in Branson, a group of them went ziplining.  I couldn't go then, because I weighed too much.  I let my family know I wanted to go and my kids said they would absolutely do it again with me.  And then so did my nieces and nephews and sister-in-law.  It was a great time.

Special thanks to our guides Mitch and Brock with Adventure Ziplines of Branson.  Their humor fit right in with our family!

65 stairs (twice) to be exact.

Before we got our gear on

The after picture with our guides

Mitch and Brock and ME!!

The face says it all!

Week Two of Training by Teal

I feel a bit like the story "The Little Engine That Could."  I was really bummed when I found out that Ryan wanted to move, but I didn't want to show that.  I want him to go after his goals and dreams; so I didn't want to make him feel bad for leaving.  But I went through a lot mentally wondering if I would be able to continue "as well" on my journey without him here pushing me.

He absolutely believed I could do it and so did many of you - my friends.  But I wasn't so sure.  So now it's been two weeks and I'm like - "I think I can do this."  (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.)  I'm realizing I know a lot more than I have given myself credit for.

I talked through several options with Ryan about how I would move forward once he left Grand Junction.  The option that gave me the most peace in my life was for him to write me workouts once a week, I follow those, and we communicate by e-mail or phone once a week or as needed.  I would still get his counsel on my food as well.

I wondered if I would work hard enough without him in the room, but I was sweating pretty good after the first workout on my own.  I did the first week at Planet Fitness.  Let's just say this.  There is no drama at Planet Fitness.  Although they signed up 2000 members in their first month, there were maybe 15 people in the gym when I would go do my workouts.  I found a familiar face one day (a mutual friend of Ryan's) and he helped me figure out how to deadlift on the Smith machine.  I worked with one of their trainers to get to know their equipment better and we had a great 30 minutes together.

Week Two - I've been at Golds this week and it's worked out great.  I've asked Semaj and Misty for advice and they've gone out of their way to help me.  When I do my cardio sessions, I have a choice.  I can say, "Oh noones watching, I won't work so hard."  or I can say "How many rope slams can I get done in 45 seconds?"  and then try to keep hitting that number for all 10 sets.  Well first of all, I am not doing this for anyone BUT myself.  I was never doing this for Ryan.  I am and will be forever thankful for his help, but he has drilled into my head that I need to do this for ME - noone else.  So when I'm tired or want to give up, I remember my goal and I push harder.  I think that's what has surprised me the most.  I guess I thought I'd just take it easy on myself and not push so hard.  But I haven't.  I have still pushed hard because I want this bad.

I am continuing my leg rehab with Semaj at Golds.  Last Friday we did a lot of squats.  Again, I wondered "Can I do this?"  But like Ryan, Semaj knows what I can and cannot do and he believed I was ready.  I was definitely sore over the weekend, but it wasn't a bad sore.

Our daughter was home for a few days and she came and swam with me one morning.  It was definitely a little easier and more fun to have someone to workout with.  This was only my second time swimming long course (50 meter pool).

I love everything I learned in kickboxing.  It has given me so much more confidence in life.  I can't even begin to explain that.  I love that Jenna has started working there as an instructor and she's great at it.  I love that Shauna (an instructor) is a certified personal trainer now and is training people much like Ryan did for me.

So all in all it's been a good two weeks.  I'm pressing on.  I thank you all for your encouragement.  Recently I had two or three people that I had no idea "followed" me, encourage me on my way.  That is always helpful to keep me in the right mindset.

Next week our family is going to be in Branson, Missouri with Dave's family.  I have permission (if you will) to take a week off.  Those of you who know me know that doesn't mean I'm going to go crazy.  For me it just means I am not going to have to THINK so much.   Thanks again for believing in me.  "I thought I could. I thought I could.  I thought I could."

Week One - Get Your Shit Together Plan

I think I will begin counting at week one again.  Week one of trying to do this on my own, so to speak.  I will be trying to do this without a physical trainer in the same room with me.  I think it is important to see how much of this I can truly do on my own.

Trust is not something I give freely.  (The reasons for that will never be written about, but suffice it to say, I do NOT trust easily.)  Ask Ryan.  I must have asked him over 20 times if he was lying to me and didn't really want to help me.  But he has earned my trust and he's willing to write me workouts from Boston.  That's just more proof for me of the trust I can have in him.

The thing with Golds is I could easily get tied right back into the program there and the trainers, but I really don't know how long they will be happy there and I don't know how long they will stay.  Since it would take me a while to build that trust again and then I don't know how long that trainer/client relationship would last, I believe it's time to see how much I can do on my own (especially since my trainer of the last 16 months is saying he'll continue to help me.)   The goal has always been to do what would be sustainable for life.  When I'm 65, I may not be able to afford a trainer, so let's see what I can do.

The question won't really be do I push myself enough, because I can work hard.  It's just that sometimes with a spotter, I can lift heavier.  We will just see how it goes.

Week 1 is planned.  Week 1 of "Get Your Shit Together" plan.  That makes me laugh.  I imagine there will be ups and downs these next few weeks as I figure things out.  The one thing I really like and that helps keep me motivated is how Ryan believes 100% that we will meet the end goal.  He's got me believing it too.

Last week I joined Planet Fitness.  They just came to Grand Junction and they are a different type of gym than Golds.  They have a lot of cardio equipment.  They have a 30 minute circuit room and they have a lot of machines.  They do not have dead lift platforms, but if I want to deadlift, I can go to Golds.  I also just started my NLP membership again as of the 20th.  I need to be cautious because when Ryan left Golds last October, I did not train with him from October to January.  During that time I got several injuries that I am still trying to get over.

So it just goes back to the trust issue.  Ryan helps protect me from myself.  So he'll send me workouts.  I'll do most of them at PF.  I'd like to join in a couple of times on NLP, but we will see how it all shakes down.  I definitely will keep swimming and I want to get over to kickboxing at least once a week.

PF 360 meets here

Tomorrow I swim early and then I eat.  (lol)  Then at 10 I will go take a class at PF to learn an all body routine in the area pictured above.  Then I have a push/pull workout to get in.  Wish me luck!

Have a Wicked Time in Bah-ston, Ryan!

My trainer and my friend has decided to pack it up and move to Boston.  The big city is calling.  We have just three more days of face to face training together.  Some of you who have known this news have asked me how I am doing with the news.  I'm okay.

I don't "preach" a lot, but I believe from the bottom of my heart that our paths passed at just the right time for a reason.  My life has been completely turned around because of the time and care Ryan took to teach and train me.  I will be thankful for that for the rest of my life.  It feels an awful lot like when your best friend moves away, or if you are a parent, it feels like your child is going off to college.  Things aren't going to be quite the same anymore, but I will settle into a new normal.

Over the past 16 months, he has helped me shed 65 pounds and almost 30 inches from my hips and waist.  Most importantly the inflammation in my body is at an all time low which makes "living" much more comfortable and enjoyable.  We have a goal that we have not reached yet and I am very thankful for today's technology which will allow us to still work together even though we are in different states.

That was progress at 12 months

I am in no way concerned that I will quit or go backwards.  I remember all too well what that felt like and I NEVER want to go back.  I am just going to be adjusting to a new normal.  So again, Ryan, thank you from the bottom of my heart and here's to moving forward by way of technology.

I'm thinking you might need some help with your vocabulary while in Boston, so here's this.

AHM   = ARM

ANSA  = Answer

AUDER = Order

BAH = A bar, or place that serves alcohol

CAH = An automobile

DUFF = To deliberately avoid a person or break a promise to meet w/someone

FOTTY = Forty

GRAVY = Spaghetti sauce

HUSSES = Horses

IDEEAR = Idea

PACKY = A liquor store, or "package" store

PAHDEE = Party

PISSAH = Very good; often prefixed with WICKED

SOX = The Boston Red Sox

SUPPAH = Dinner

TEYEID = Tired; exhausted or fatigued

TONIC = Soda Pop

WICKED = Extremely good

WOM = Warm

Have fun learning the language.  You'll be missed.  Thanks for sticking with me!

http://www.celebrateboston.com/culture/dictionary.htm